In the World, Not Of It

It's been a while since I last posted -- busy, busy, busy! Now I finally have a chance to sit down and really write something out. ;)

I woke up to rain, which surprised me because I didn't know we were supposed to get any. I guess I should watch the weather forecast before bed! At any rate, we really need all the rain we can get because we're still under water restrictions (I believe we're at a Stage 3 out of 4 -- 4 being the most severe). So I'll keep praying for more rain and maybe this summer we'll avoid the nasty drought we got last summer!

Lots of talk lately about contraception and President Obama. I read yesterday where Bishop William Lori and several others from different Christian faiths were standing together, willing to go to jail instead of adhering to our President's mandate on birth control coverage. So pleased to read this! We should all be willing to do whatever it takes to do what is right, even when what is right means going against the rest of society, even when doing what is right is the hardest thing to do.

No one EVER said following Christ would ever be easy. Many have died for following Christ. I'm sure many will continue to die for following Christ, and if it came down to it, we should all be willing to do that. Look what he did for US! Unfortunately, it has become way too easy for people to throw aside the Church's (referring to the Catholic Church) teachings and go their own way. We live in a society where we want everything to be easy. We don't want to stand out and be different. We'd rather go against what God wants us to do than go against what society wants us to do, or our family wants us to do, or our spouse wants us to do. Why do we do this? Because it's easier that way!

In the end, what society expects of us isn't going to matter one bit. What God expects of us and whether we did as He instructed is what's going to matter. At that point, we'll have no excuses and no one to blame but ourselves. My prayer is that we will all learn to keep God at the forefront of our thoughts and hold His teachings in our hearts always, that we may believe that His Will is the most perfect thing in the whole world for all of us, and that we never forget to pray for strength when the pressures of the world chips away at our weaknesses.

No One On This Earth Is Perfect

Today, Texas Rangers' player Josh Hamilton made a televised apology and explained about his sobriety relapse on Monday. What a shame that after he did that, I saw so many nasty and rude comments online about him. How awful it would be if all of OUR weak moments were televised and after we'd apologized, people still saw fit to judge our actions? I have weak moments all the time. I try to do good, try to live the way God wants me to, but I fail miserably. All the time. And I'm sure that Josh Hamilton's intention wasn't to mess up, but he did, just as we all have done. Pray for him and his family that this doesn't happen again and that he will have the strength to fight these demons.

My sister got the keys to her apartment today, yay!!! We checked out the apartment and it's really nice. I'm totally envious of her oven, by the way. It's total digital. Freakin' awesome! And this for a girl who ONLY cooks in the microwave, haha. But it was really nice, my sister loved it and I think she's going to be so super happy now. The kids loved it as well, so double-yay!!

We're supposed to be under a severe thunderstorm warning until 2:30 in the morning. We've gotten a little rain, which prompted me to close my windows. I just raised them again because it is MUGGY, but I may be tempting fate here. With my luck, it'll come a downpour in the middle of the night and I'll snooze right through it while my bedroom is flooding. ;) Because that's how I roll, you know...

I leave you all with a prayer before heading to bed. Goodnight, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite!

Angel of God
My guardian dear
To whom God's love
Commits me here.
Ever this day
Be at my side
To light, to guard, to rule, to guide.
Amen.

Simplicity

FOR TODAY

Outside my window... it's dark and dreary, humid and warm. Pretty sure winter has skipped us and we've hit spring already! (Why do I think this? Well, besides the temperatures, I was sitting outside yesterday watching yellow BUTTERFLIES fluttering about all over the GREEN grass...which, I must admit, was nice considering we haven't had green grass since early spring last year!)

I am thinking... About how happy I am that my sister received her tax refund today! YAY!! Now she can start furnishing her new apartment!

I am thankful... for God and his many blessings on me and my family

In the kitchen... my sister is sitting at the kitchen table with the baby. One's putting on makeup, the other one's gurgling and drooling. I'll let you guess which is which! ;o)

I am wearing... my pink pajama pants and pink & blue pajama top

I am creating... a strong sense of spiritual development ;)

I am going... to be doing the laundry shortly. What fun, oh, what fun!

I am wondering... if my daughter's father will file his taxes and we'll get what he owes in back child support

I am reading... The Honk And Holler Opening Soon by Billie Letts (so cute!)

I am hoping... That the weekend is better than the week has been

I am looking forward to... having a peaceful weekend

I am learning... that it's more important to be happy than it is to be perfect

Around the house... we have lots of children's toys!! Soon they will be all moved over to the new place -- yahoo!

I am pondering... why we're having no winter this year =o(

A favorite quote for today... "If Plan A fails, remember that you still have 25 letters left!"

One of my favorite things... Curling up in bed at night with a good book and a breeze blowing in the window

A few plans for the rest of the week: Well, this is Friday, so my plans include being lazy and relaxing!

ACTS

Last night in class we discussed the common format for prayer known as ACTS -- adoration, contrition, thanksgiving and supplication. Or rather, this SHOULD be the format. ;o) So often, even for myself, we forget to do the first three and focus solely on asking God for something. I'm not saying that God doesn't answer us when we ask, but we should all try a little harder to adore Him, express sorrow for our sins and THANK God for all that He has already given us before we present our needs to Him. I am very guilty of this and it's something I intend to seriously work on!

We also discussed how prayer can take many forms -- mental, verbal, devotions, novenas, the Holy Rosary, singing, the Mass and so many more. The more you incorporate prayer into your daily life, the stronger your spiritual development will be! The stronger your relationship with God, the happier and more content you will be in your life. Remember that God doesn't expect us to be perfect because that is impossible. He wants to take us as we are -- ugly, flawed, sinful and imperfect, so that He can do great things with us and our lives because He loves us so very much. Remember, the most beautiful pieces of artwork sure didn't start out that way!

On a totally different topic, we get six more weeks of winter! I think it's great because I'm still waiting for winter to hit Texas, haha! =o) I'm holding on to hope that we'll eventually get ONE day of snow at least. Apparently, the people in Pennsylvania weren't too happy about the verdict this morning. I guess they're actually getting winter there, LOL!

Fear Has No Business Here!

I was reading today's Scriptures and meditating on how Jesus said to the synagogue official, "Do not be afraid; just have faith." Do not be afraid -- just have faith!! How many of us can truly say that we do this every day? I sure can't! For example, when my loved ones go driving out in the torrential rains, I'm afraid that they'll be knocked off the road by someone less prepared to drive on wet roadways. When my daughter runs a high fever and every part of her body is aching, I am afraid that it may be something more than just a virus. I believe that we all fear something sometimes, but Jesus tells us to not be afraid and to TRUST, really trust, because all things are possible with God. ALL things, not just SOME things. Mark 9:23 tells us, "Jesus said to him, “‘If you can!’ Everything is possible to one who has faith.” This is reeeeeeally important because faith and trust go hand-in-hand. Never underestimate the power of God. Never convince yourself that your obstacles are bigger than God's love for you. And most of all, never allow anyone ELSE to convince you that there is anything God is incapable of doing or providing if He feels you need it. I know from firsthand experience that the times I have been totally desperate and have prayed about my needs, God not only provided for me, but He blessed me far more than I could have ever hoped for or asked for! God is loving and generous, so when Jesus says to not be afraid and just have faith, believe it! ;o)

From "A Simple Woman's Daybook" -

Outside my window... It's grey and breezy but not cold. It's pretty peaceful outside at the moment, nothing but cars off in the distance and birds chirping. =o)

I am thinking... about what to make for dinner. I'm thinking homemade pasta will be on the list!

I am thankful... for a beautiful daughter who has shown me how to love unconditionally.

In the kitchen... I have a sinkful of dishes from breakfast that I need to wash as well as sweep up and wipe down the counters. What have I been doing all morning? Calming a teething baby!

I am wearing... a red t-shirt and blue jeans. Comfy is the key for the day!

I am creating... a literary masterpiece with this blog. Just kidding!! ;o)

I am going... to try and squeeze a nap in at some point later. I didn't sleep well. I had a really creepy dream about demons and the souls of the dead being trapped in children's toys. I don't even know WHERE that came from!

I am wondering...if I will ever get child support or if I'll have to, once again, file on my ex in order to get it out of him.

I am reading... "A Woman's Place" by Lynn Austin. SOOO good!

I am hoping... that my sister and her children will love their new apartment!

I am looking forward to... having some peace and quiet around here

I am learning... Italian!

Around the house...we have too many toys and books. Looks like it's time to clear some out and donate them!

I am pondering...whether or not I should go on Pinterest. I usually get sucked in for way too long on that site!

A favorite quote for today... "At any given moment, you have the power to say: This is NOT how the story is going to end"

One of my favorite things... is curling up on my bed with the kitty and catching some Z's!

A few plans for the rest of the week: Organizing my bedroom closets, gathering up some essentials for my sister's new apartment and going to RCIA class tomorrow! ;o)

Yeah, It's Been A While!

It's a gorgeous Monday morning, definitely feels more like spring than winter. I wonder if we'll actually get any snow this year, or even REAL winter-type weather? Living in Texas, you just never know what you're going to get. One year we got nothing but rain, rain, rain. Another year we had lots of freezing weather, snow and ice. This year it feels like winter has jumped right into spring and somehow missed us! We still have a little while left of winter so maybe there's still hope. ;o)

Soon my sister and her little ones (well, I say little ones, but they range in age from 6 months to 12 years!) will be starting a new journey in an apartment of their own with her as the head of the household. I remember when my daughter and I moved out of my parent's home after my husband and I separated, and how overwhelmed and homesick I was during that first month (or two) of being in the new apartment. Even though my sister A was right next door, I felt this intense loneliness. I finally realized it was my own doing, that I was CHOOSING to feel lonely, that I was CHOOSING to look to the past instead of embracing the future. I hope that my sister will realize what a blessing it is that she's going to have her own space and not have to live under someone else's thumb, especially someone who was supposed to be there to support her, love her and help her raise their children. She can do this, I know she can!

It is hard to believe that in just a little over two months, I will be coming to the end of the RCIA classes. This has been SUCH an incredible faith journey so far! I began praying the rosary in 2006 after talking about it with one of my favorite Roman Catholic friends, Kate, and upon realizing that ANYONE could pray the rosary, Catholic or not, I began praying every single morning. Sometimes I'd pray it two or three times in one day. The beauty of the prayers were so uplifting, I even learned it in Latin! ;o) I truly believe that it was through the intercession of our Blessed Mother that I was led to the Church. My experiences in our RCIA classes have been such eye-openers to parts of the Catholic faith that I had no idea about, and I thought I'd done a lot of research!

I think one of the most intriguing parts about the Catholic faith is that, as Catholics, we don't change to be what society deems "politically correct". We don't bend and sway in the wind the way other church denominations do. Everything about Catholicism has a reason behind it and centuries of proof to back it all up. There is no guesswork involved. This is the only thing that has felt like definite, unwavering, absolute Truth.

On top of that, I have the best classmates to go on this journey with! Not to mention my wonderful Catholic friends who always keep me in the loop on everything going on in the Catholic world. It is a wonderful world to be a part of...

Happy Mother's Day =o)

It has been a wonderful Mother's Day. =o) I am so blessed to have my beautiful daughter! Even during our rough patches, she's the number one person in my life and I love her tremendously. She brings me more joy (and sometimes more tears) than any other person in my life, and for that, I am eternally grateful.

Being a mother is not always an easy job. We don't have a manual to refer to whenever there are issues. We just have to do the best that we can and make sure that everything we do is done with love and the best of intentions, and a LOT of prayer. ;o)

I hope all of my dear moms out there have had a great day and realize how special they truly are. I leave you with this Mother's Prayer to the Guardian Angels of Her Children:

I humbly salute you, O you faithful, heavenly Friends of my children! I give you heartfelt thanks for all the love and goodness you show them. At some future day I shall, with thanks more worthy than I can now give, repay your care for them, and before the whole heavenly court acknowledge their indebtedness to your guidance and protection. Continue to watch over them. Provide for all their needs of body and soul. Pray, likewise, for me and my whole family, that we may all one day rejoice in your blessed company. Amen.

Everyday Blessings

This morning as I was doing laundry, washing dishes and vacuuming the carpets, I realized that I should always approach these chores with a happy heart. Why, you ask? Well, let me explain.

I am blessed to have enough clothes to fill a washer (a few times over, actually). I am not dressed in filthy rags that I have to wear day in and day out because they are all that I have. I have electricity, water and laundry detergent to clean my clothes with. Is sorting clothes worth all the grumbling when afterward you have clean, nice-smelling things that make you feel and look good? Of course not! There's no point in grumbling about it (although I do have to confess, even now, I sometimes catch myself grumbling a bit about folding and putting them all away afterward!).

I am blessed to be able to have food to put on these dishes that I have to wash. I am blessed to have enough dishes to invite friends and family over to eat with us and to enjoy each other's company.

And I am blessed to be able to vacuum these carpets every morning because I am thankful to have a home to live in! This is my personal space for me and my child, and it makes me feel good to keep it clean and take pride in it. I know how easy it is in this day and age to lose everything and have no place to live, no place to call home. I know that there are a great many people out there who don't have a roof over their heads.

When you look at it in this light, there is no reason to be irritated about doing housework and chores. I'm not saying that I'm perfect and that there aren't times I'd rather be doing something else, but for the most part, doing these things make me feel good and give me a sense of contentment.

Let us always remember to count our blessings, even those that may be in disguise!

Frustrations

Sometimes I feel like none of us are really getting anywhere. Wake up, rush around getting the kids off to school or daycare, go to work, run errands, come home, be too tired to want to do anything. Everyone has to have the latest gadgets to do their thinking for them or make their lives "easier" and the term "hard work" has truly lost its meaning for so many people.

I want life to be simple.

I want to have a life where I can put my family first and not have to stress and worry about bills and lack of money for this or that.

I want to be able to take my daughter (or myself) to the doctor when I want to, ANY doctor that I want to, and not have to have some dorky little card with that doctor's name on it because that was one of a small handful of doctors that I got to choose from.

I want to be able to feed my child healthy food that I don't have to go into debt buying (and no, I can't plant a garden here in this apartment complex, unfortunately). The healthy stuff is expensive, the junk food is cheap. We're all just trying to get through the week.

I want to sit down in front of the television with my child and not have to be embarrassed at the utter crap that's on nowadays. And I'm not just talking about the shows, I'm talking about the commercials as well. It's a shame that trash sells and it only sells because people continue to buy.

I want things to be simple, calm and peaceful. I want people to appreciate each other and to help one another instead of wondering what someone else can do for them all the time. I want there to be more thank-yous, more common courtesy, more respect for one another. We are running ourselves into the ground. Running and running and going nowhere.

Take a good look at your life -- are you where you want to be?

It's A Beautiful Day Today!

It is absolutely gorgeous outside today! I spent a good deal of time sitting out, soaking up the sunshine and praying my rosary. If every day were like this, I'd certainly not complain, especially for January weather. I did hear, though, that we'll be having some nasty weather soon, so better enjoy the good stuff while it's here!

I went out to breakfast this morning with my mom and sisters and that was awesome. I love the four of us getting to go out and be free of the kidlings and all that jazz. After breakfast we went shopping and I splurged a little bit on some fun stuff for me and Dylann. Came back home, had some ice cream for lunch (hey, I couldn't think of anything else that sounded as good!), did a load of laundry, hung up all of D's band t-shirts and then hopped on here to see what everyone was up to.

My sister and I have decided that we're going to start doing some volunteer work on weekends at animal shelters. It will have to be no-kill shelters or else I'll end up with a whole houseful of animals. The grey and white tom cat who wanders the neighborhood has already stolen my heart, and we've affectionately nicknamed him Hobo. I was cleaning out the litter box the other night and he came prancing over and nuzzled against me. Sweetest thing ever! So now he loves me and I feed him and we're going to be BFFs.

And that's pretty much it in my neck of the woods. Life is great, my friends are beautiful and God is awesome!

Crazyville

Today I had the misfortune of dealing with a very disturbed individual. I had to block him and report him as well, and over something as ridiculous as him not being happy with a response I'd sent to him. My response simply stated that we didn't need to chat on AIM, but that if he needed me to pray for someone (which was his sneaky way of trying to keep in contact with me), to drop me a message and I would pray for that person. Apparently, this wasn't a satisfactory response because he came back, both guns blazing, with the most insulting, rude, harrassing, blasphemous verbal vomit that I've ever had the displeasure of reading. I showed the messages to several friends who agreed that this individual is in need of help, and that I will probably end up having to file charges with the local PD because people like him will do whatever they can to twist it all around and make it seem like my fault. But they all know who he is, they know his name, they saw the messages and various chat logs and they can very easily see where the issue lies and if necessary, I have them as witnesses. In this day and age where people do crazy stuff, you can never be too careful.

I will admit that I was floored by the fact that this person, a self-proclaimed Christian, spewed out insults toward Catholics, priests, saints and the Blessed Mother. Those are not things one can take back. He will realize one day that he is going to be held accountable for those things, even if they were thrown out in the heat of the moment. No one forced him to write any of that, he chose his words carefully. He also had the audacity to claim I was "going to hell in a handbasket" because that is what God showed him. Yeah. Certainly he and I do not worship the same God. His words were definitely more of the devil than of God, and I'm pretty sure that he's teetering on the dark side, and God's love is definitely not in him.

There were red flags from the moment he and I started talking, and I think it was God's way of warning me to not get too close. I even talked to various people about this, and they told me to run - not walk - but RUN away from him as quickly as I could. But being the soft-hearted schmuck that I am, I stupidly gave him chance after chance, hoping that he'd get the hint that we were just going to be friends, or nothing at all. I didn't want a relationship with him like he wanted. He had a girlfriend that he was sneaking around on to chat with me, which I expressed several times that I DID NOT LIKE and wouldn't keep tolerating. And when I finally put my foot down, he came unglued. Unfortunately, there will always be unstable people like this out there, and you just have to wash your hands of them and have nothing more to do with them, and let them self-destruct if that's what they want to do. I certainly won't be losing any sleep over bad rubbish.

More Prayers Answered

Today has been rough for me, but I'm getting through it. I have faith that the rest of the year will get better, haha! =o)

I was given a wake-up call this morning about a potential relationship ~~ it wasn't meant to be. While I was initially a little saddened by it, I'm okay with it now because 1) I have been praying an awful lot that if this isn't the relationship I need to be in, that God will let me know and not allow it to develop into anything, and 2) the past three potential relationships I've been involved in, I have been somewhat of a "place-holder" when the guys were having trouble with the relationships that they were in. (And for the record, I wasn't aware that they had girlfriends at the time -- I don't play that game.) I am very grateful that the person involved let me know before I really got in too deep and fell too hard, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't sting just a little bit. Someone told me a while back that whoever I date should be so close to God that they have to go through God just to get to me. I like that idea! LOL!

The second sad thing today is that my priest is leaving the parish. =o( I think he's just awesome and so this is really a sad thing. I get attached to people quick and it hurts to see them having to move on to something else. But it's all a part of God's plan, and I was warned about this when I started attending this particular parish, that the priests never really know how long they will be there before they get moved somewhere else. I will just keep him in my prayers and wish him the best, and be thankful for the time that we got to have him in our parish. =o) I am also praying that the next priest will be just as awesome.

I can't complain too much because this is only the 2nd day of the new year and the first day was marvelous, so maybe this year has potential after all. =o)

Can't Fix Everything

We just passed our third Sunday of Advent. Dylann is having a good time lighting the candles at the dinner table lately. =o) Couldn't find any tapers in the appropriate colors, so we're using votives, but they work! (And they smell good, too!)

This morning I got up at 4:30 to pray the rosary with Mother Angelica on the radio. Unfortunately, she just goes a little too slow for that hour of the morning, so I had to turn it off and finish on my own or else I was going to fall asleep again!

The past couple of weeks have been very challenging. I find myself praying a lot more than I normally do because some days it just seems like it's one thing after another. I know that I'm at my worst and weakest whenever I don't have control over a situation that seems to be spinning out of control and headed for a brick wall at full speed. I am thankful for the friends I have who keep me lifted up and focused in the right direction and don't let me forget that God can perform miracles. If he can create the heavens and earth in six days, he can certainly fix the tiny things in my life!

My main problem is knowing when to let go, when to give these problems to Him and stop trying to fiddle with them on my own. Sometimes my capacity to do something is very limited and, being hard-headed and stubborn like I am, I usually don't want to accept that. I don't always have to be the one with the answers. I don't always have to be the one to pull the drowning man to shore, so to speak. Sometimes I have to let people deal with their own crisis so that it will bring them closer to God. I know that I didn't turn to Him when I felt at my strongest. No, I was at my weakest point, my most vulnerable, and I felt like I had nothing and could DO nothing with my life. "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." (Psalm 147:3) For so long I had pushed God away, wanted nothing to do with him, and one day I finally realized that I had NOTHING because I didn't have Him. I was trying to do my own thing and "my own thing" just wasn't working.

So today I'm going to pray that whatever I'm asked to do, I am able to do with a cheerful heart and spirit because God is good all the time, and all the time, God is good. =o)

Be On Your Guard

It has been a while since I've written here, and with good reason - there is so much going on, so much to be said, that I couldn't sort through all of it and figure out what to actually post. ;)

God has really been giving me some wake-up calls lately. It's funny how often we think we are doing the right thing and then we suddenly realize how off-track we truly were! I have been humbled lately, that's for sure, and with good reason. A year ago, I probably wouldn't have realized as quickly what it is that I'm doing wrong, what it is that I'm doing that is offending God. Now I do see it, and it truly hurts when it's all said and done and I realize that I messed up again.

That is where the mercy of God comes in, and I am so grateful for that! He knows we are not perfect, and he doesn't expect us to be. We just have to know when we have done wrong and try to make amends. It does no good to sit there and say, "OK, I was wrong" and then go on our merry way like that's the end of it. If a murderer went up to his victim's family and admitted he did the wrong thing, he doesn't get a handshake and sent on his way. No, there has to be an amendment made in some form. None of us are perfect, God knows this about us even if we refuse to admit it (hehe), but we do have to try our best to live the way He wants us to.

I have been doing a lot of praying (and by a lot, I mean a LOT!) lately and I wish I could tell you how many prayers have been answered in the most unexpected ways! I have learned that God does hear our prayers and that He does answer them in the way that is best for us, which is why I have also learned to be more patient and not expect them to come instantly all the time.

I have also learned that there are those out there who claim to be followers of His word, but prove otherwise in so much that they do. Sometimes I think this is just a sneaky thing on the part of the devil to get us to allow those people into our lives and hearts when there is no (or very little) sincerity in them. They say what you want to hear. They have you figured out from the very start, and they play on that. I am grateful for the strength discernment to know which people are potentially toxic and which people are not. Yes, we are to love all people, but there are some who will put you in a position that compromises your relationship with God, and that isn't something I am willing to do anymore.

Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle.
Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray;
And do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host -
by the Divine Power of God -
cast into hell Satan and all the evil spirits,
who roam throughout the world seeking the ruin of souls.

Amen.

Days Like These

Today has been very rough so far but I am determined to put it in God's hands and allow Him to guide whatever happens. I submit myself to His will, whatever that may be. It may not be what I want to happen, but I am praying that He will have mercy on my situation and that everything will work out.

People have said to me that I have so much faith, and that they wished they could have as much as I do, but truth be told, I am just like everyone else. I have days where I am just as afraid and uncertain as the next person. It always reminds me of Mark 4:40 where Jesus said, "Why are you terrified? Do you not yet have faith?" when the disciples feared the stormy sea and for whatever reason didn't have the faith that Jesus could calm the craziness around them. Jesus Christ calms all of the storms in our lives if we truly believe and truly have faith. And, yes, sometimes in all of the earthly trials, I do forget that. I'm ashamed that I forget that and lack the faith some days, but God is merciful even to little goofballs like me.

It is times like these when I feel so badly for those who don't believe in our Father. I wonder who they turn to when things go wrong, who they seek out when their lives are falling apart and they are full of despair. I have been down that road myself years ago and there is nothing worse than feeling empty and broken and having nowhere to turn. Everything seems darker and more desolate when you are alone. The good thing is that God never leaves us. We may turn away from Him, mock Him and deny His existence, but as soon as that lightbulb goes off and we realize how mistaken we are and how contrite we are for what we've done, He is there waiting for us, arms open and ready to bring us into His embrace again. All of us sin in one way or another, even on a day-to-day basis, sometimes without even realizing it until later. I am guilty of this myself, which is why I always try to remember to ask God for His forgiveness in my evening prayers. I am not perfect and not a day goes by in my life where I am sinless. I may try to do good for others, try to do the right things, but even if there is a speck of anger, bitterness, jealousy, etc. in my heart toward another person, that is a sin. Thankfully, God forgives us and loves us anyway! Now if only we could all be that way, huh? ;)

In The Right Direction

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer...

This is something that I'm working on today. The past few days have been a trial in more ways than one. I have lost my bearings on a couple of occasions. I am so thankful that God is so graciouis, so loving and so kind as to help me back to my feet again and point me in the right direction!

Each night before I go to bed, I write down my blessings, things that have made me happy during the day. It really helps me to remember that even though sometimes it seems dark and uncertain, God doesn't withhold the good things! Sometimes we are just so wrapped up in our own issues that we don't see what is right in front of us.

Today will no doubt be a wonderful day and I hope that it brings you many blessings as well! :o)

The Rosary

Those who know me in "real life" and on a daily basis know how important the rosary is to me. It is the first thing I do in the morning, sometimes even before I step foot out of bed. It helps me to focus, to start the day off close to our Lord and our sweet Mother Mary. Typically, I pray a full rosary three times a day; the first for myself, the second for my family (and friends!) and the third for vocation. It takes about twenty minutes each time (unless I'm doing it in Latin, which is sometimes 5-10 minutes longer) and I certainly cannot claim that spending an hour a day in prayer is too much!

The benefits of praying the rosary are so great that I'll only touch on a few of them here. First -- it gives me complete peace. No matter what mood I am in when I pick up those rosary beads, my spirit is instantly lifted as I focus on the prayers. I sometimes grab the rosary beads when I'm angry or upset and just start praying and almost immediately, those bad feelings diminish. Second -- it helps me to know that our Blessed Mother hears those prayers and intercedes for me for all of my intentions if it is God's will that they be granted. Third -- it gives me comfort in times of illness or distress. When my time is spent in prayer, I have less time to spend worrying! Fourth -- it helps me to know that praying the rosary is something that Mary has asked us to do here on earth. To do what our Lord's Mother asks us to do should be an honor for all of us. After all, she was the one who submitted to God's will and gave birth to the One who would save us all -- it's the least we can do!

Of course, there are also the Fifteen Promises for Praying the Rosary (straight from Mary herself!): 1) Whosoever shall faithfully serve me by the recitation of the Rosary shall receive signal graces. 2) I promise my special protection and the greatest graces to all those who shall recite the Rosary. 3) The Rosary shall be a powerful armor against hell, it will destroy vice, decrease sin and defeat heresies. 4) It will cause good works to flourish; it will obtain for souls the abundant mercy of God; it will withdraw the hearts of men from the love of the world and its vanities, and will lift them to the desire for Eternal Things. Oh, that souls would sanctify themselves by this means. 5) The soul which recommends itself to me by the recitation of the Rosary shall not perish. 6) Whosoever shall recite the Rosary devoutly, applying himself to the consideration of its Sacred Mysteries shall never be conquered by misfortune. God will not chastise him in His justice, he shall not perish by an unprovided death; if he be just he shall remain in the grace of God, and become worthy of Eternal Life. 7) Whoever shall have a true devotion for the Rosary shall not die without the Sacraments of the Church. 8) Those who are faithful to recite the Rosary shall have during their life and at their death the Light of God and the plenitude of His Graces; at the moment of death they shall participate in the Merits of the Saints in Paradise. 9) I shall deliver from purgatory those who have been devoted to the Rosary. 10) The faithful children of the Rosary shall merit a high degree of Glory in Heaven. 11) You shall obtain all you ask of me by recitation of the Rosary. 12) All those who propagate the Holy Rosary shall be aided by me in their necessities. 13) I have obtained from my Divine Son that all the advocates of the Rosary shall have for intercessors the entire Celestial Court during their life and at the hour of death. 14) All who recite the Rosary are my Sons, and brothers of my Only Son Jesus Christ. 15) Devotion to my Rosary is a great sign of predestination.
How can we go wrong here? ;)
So there you have it -- a very important part of my day-- the Holy Rosary.

Prayer of Thanks

Thank you for the obstacles that are put in my path because it makes me cling to you even more. I realize that I am not able to handle everything on my own and that you are more than willing to meet me halfway or even take on the burden if I simply ask for your help. You never give me more than I can handle and you never leave me without the sweetness of your grace and mercy. You know exactly what I need before I ask even though sometimes I forget that!

Thank you for turning my anger this morning into forgiveness and releasing me from those bonds of bitterness and anger, and allowing me to go on with my day without my heart being full of the need for revenge. I have no doubt that whatever happens on earth will be dealt with by you when the day comes, so there's no point in me wasting my time dwelling on it. There are things that are beyond my control, but nothing is beyond yours!

I stop and think about the many blessings that you send my way each and every day - all of the smiles, all of the kind words, all of the wonderful friends who have such huge hearts, the silliness, the love that surrounds me, and most of all, your love and forgiveness. All of the greatest things in my life come from you.

There are days, like today, when it isn't easy. I stumble and I fall, but you never leave me. When all else fails, you never fail me. When I feel like I'm at my lowest, you are there with a loving embrace, ready to lift me up and give me wings to soar. Your love, mercy and goodness are infinite!

Blessings

I am truly so blessed beyond what I deserve. Each day, no matter what happens, there is always at least one blessing that was unexpected. I was so angry and upset on Thursday about something, but by the end of the day, I was fine with it. I was talking to my Mama about it over the phone and found myself saying, "It's going to be fine." Really? It's going to be fine? Where did that even come from considering ten minutes before that, the first words out of my mouth before I even said hello were, "Mama, please tell me that my head is NOT about to explode!" Our sweet and wonderful Lord has a way of calming that fire down inside, doesn't He? As soon as the words, "it's going to be fine" left my mouth, I truly believed that they would be. God has never let me down before. I have said it over and over again that my main issue is my lack of patience in these matters. If it's something that upsets me, it's like I take leave of my senses temporarily and have no patience at all. God is probably looking down on me, shaking His head and wondering, "Where is your faith, girl?" It reminds me a lot of Mark 4:40 where it says, "Why are you terrified? Do you not yet have faith?" I have no doubt that God is testing my patience because He knows that this is a major thing I need to work on right now.

I had such a wonderful surprise last night. I found out that a friend of mine had gifted me with a paid subscription to a website that I use frequently because my subscription had expired the day before. He told me he could afford to do so and that he was happy to do it because he enjoyed reading the things I wrote, that there were no strings attached and not to even think about paying him back, it was a gift. To say my heart was bursting with his thoughtful gesture would be an understatement. I am so thankful for people like him who are in my life, who do things out of the kindness of their hearts. It helps me to strive to be more like them. They are wonderful reminders of God's love for us and the love we should have for each other!

Thank you, Heavenly Father, for the many blessings that you bring to my life. Help me to stay patient and strong in times of adversity and weakness. Thank you for staying by my side even when I don't always do the right things. Please continue to work on me and help me to be a better person in all ways so that all that I do may glorify You. Amen.

Moving Forward

Last night, I sat down and wrote my brother a four-page letter (he's in jail for a while... he has time to read that sorta stuff!). Those of you who've been following me for a while know that we have a REALLY strained relationship and have for years. I truly believe that God had a hand in all of this because as I sat down to write, there was no anger anymore, no bitterness, just me writing a letter to my brother, letting him know that we are here for him when he gets out. I tried to explain that he needs to get himself straightened out, get a job (a LEGIT one this time!) that he can have pride in and hold his head up and THEN he can find a good girl to settle down with. Right now, he's falling for these women who are as messed up as he is and they just keep each other from moving forward and trying to do better. I told him that I love him and that I hated the feud between us, that we've had a lot of family gatherings that I wished he'd been a part of if he'd had his act together because he can be so funny and wonderful when he's not being shady. Afterward, I called my mom and told her about it. She said that my letter could be what helps him to turn around because he's thought for a long time now that I truly hated him, and if he gets that letter of support and encouragement, it may make him really think about things, about changing, when he is released. I sure hope so.

He's actually been made a trustee at the jail so he's happy that he at least has things to do during the day to make the hours pass a little more quickly, and he gets extra food and snacks for the help that he does. That's much better than sitting in the cell, crying on the phone for our Mama to sell her soul to get him out!

Hope everyone has a great day and that God does something great in your life today!